Simon Chronicles 08

Thursday January 11, 2007 – Day 165 Day #1 of RSV

Simon woke up at 1:00 AM screaming crying. He has his first real cold – stuffed up nose, vomiting, coughing, and fever. Just broke my heart. By 8:00 am in the morning, Simon’s coughing and cold was getting worse. Aari took Simon to the pediatrician and he tested positive for Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV). This is one of those times when “positive�? is not what you want to hear. RSV is a virus that attacks the mucous membranes of the respiratory tracts (the nose, throat, windpipe, and the bronchi and bronchioles, the air passages of the lungs). The term syncytial means that the virus causes cells -- in this case, cells of the mucous membranes -- to merge together into larger cells which don't work as well as the original non-infected cells. Because babies and their air passages are small, an RSV infection can clog up the air passages, especially in their lungs, much more easily. Babies with RSV cough a lot and can have trouble getting enough oxygen if the infection is bad enough. Since RSV is a virus, antibiotics will not help at all. Simon does not have a bad case right now. He has 103 fever but I'm told that's nothing for kids. However it kills me to see him sick. He has been moaning and coughing and it's really sad.

Friday January 12, 2007 – Day 166 Day #2 of RSV

We began the morning thinking Simon was better and then he threw up so much milk that we had to change the sheets, pillow cases, what Aari was wearing and what Simon was wearing. I went to my therapist and my psycho-pharmacologist and talked about how helpless I feel to make Simon better, to create a good show, etc. Aari went back to the pediatrician because our regular doctor wasn’t in yesterday and when she heard Simon had RSV she wanted to check him out in person. Yes, he’s sick.

Saturday January 13, 2007 – Day 167 Day #3 of RSV

Simon had a 101 to 102 temp most of the afternoon. He also slept most of the day (as did I). He woke up to eat, cough, sneeze, whimper, occasionally listlessly play a little, and then conk out again. We've been nebulizing him (giving him medicine to inhale) 3 times a day and then pounding him on the back, to try to keep his lungs from gunking up. He's slept through the night the last two nights (hard to believe he can sleep through the coughing and sneezing fits, they’re quite violent) which is a blessing for him and us. Each night we think he’s going to be up all night feeling miserable and then he conks out.

Sunday January 14, 2007 – Day 168 Simon is 24 weeks old today Day #4 of RSV

Simon still had a fever and coughing and sneezing but on the other side of things he pooped which is good (still having that problem) and he had a couple of smiling moments but also a lot of crying and sleeping. We felt encouraged. At 2:30am Aari woke me; things had taken a bad turn. Simon had almost 104 fever and trouble breathing and was making the saddest gulping cry. We called the doctor at 3:00am and he said to give Simon Tylenol and don't panic and bring him in in the morning. While Aari was talking to the doctor I was holding my hot little wheezing son and I just burst out crying, once again proving a tremendous help to Aari. I didn’t get much sleep – Aari got less.

Monday January 15, 2007 – Day 169 Martin Luther King, Jr. Day January 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968 Day #5 of RSV

“Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with false and the false with the true.�? – Dr. King

In the morning it was pouring rain and Simon was crying and hot and the downtown office was closed for Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I called our friend Jeff and he sent over a car to take us to the uptown Doctor’s office which helped tremendously. Simon’s temperature was down to 102 _ but his white blood cell count was a little high. His blood oxygen level was low and they were trying to get it up. Many babies with RSV have to go to the hospital because of this problem. It was scary. The number is supposed to be between 95 and 100 and we kept watching it hover around 89 – 92. Finally they got it up to 93-94 and Aari went home with the baby and lots of medicine and instructions and I went into work. Just breaking my heart. In the afternoon Aari said he was inconsolable. With the fever he won’t breast feed and barely takes a bottle and Aari is worried he is getting dehydrated. I think when his fever goes down a little he’s conscious enough to know just how uncomfortable he really is, and has energy to express it. Aari’s got his room humidified to the max. It’s like going to Aruba. He had another horrible night scaring Aari with terrible wheezing sounds. They both let me sleep.

Tuesday January 16, 2007 – Day 170 Day #6 of RSV

Aari took Simon to our Doctor downtown this morning for another blood oxygen level test. His white blood count was better but the oxygen level never got higher then 93. They said he’s on the edge. They want to watch his level every day. When I came home in the evening he was wheezing terribly. It was a horrible sound. I looked at Aari and she just looked at me as if to say “I’m with this all day!�? They had another rough night. In the meantime I haven’t mentioned that Aari has had a terrible cold through all this – she sounds like she has medieval plague. (What I imagine it would sound like of course.)

Wednesday January 17, 2007 – Day 171 Day #7 of RSV

I don’t know what happened but when we woke up this morning it was clear the baby was better. He is still coughing and sneezing but he just seemed better. Aari took him into the doctor for his blood oxygen level and it was up to 97! His fever is down and he’s back to making raspberries. Aari is sounding worse. I bumped into our neighbor John who has a seven month old little girl and he asked how Simon was feeling and I said “They shouldn’t let babies get sick until college�? (a phrase I stole from Matthew) and he replied with his English accent, “They shouldn’t get sick until they’re in medical school.�? I agreed wholeheartedly.

Thursday January 18, 2007 – Day 172 Day #8 of RSV

Simon babbling on the monitor woke me up this morning. I didn’t realize it until I heard him but he hadn’t really been “talking�? for the last 9 days. I think he’s almost back. I woke up with snot dripping down my face. It was only inevitable that I would get a cold. I told Aari I should have quarantined them in their part of the apartment.

Friday January 19, 2007 – Day 173

Simon still has congestion in his lungs so I suppose he still has the RSV virus in his system but I, personally, am taking him off watch. Aari on the other hand is coughing and any second I expect to see a little piece of lung in the palm of her hand.

Saturday January 20, 2007 – Day 174

Today Senator Hillary Clinton threw her pantsuit into the ring. It’s truly historic to have her and Barack O’Bama assembling campaigns. In other important news, Simon got all five toes into his mouth at once.

Monday January 22, 2007 – Day 176

I had the worst day at work

Tuesday January 23, 2007 – Day 177

I had an even worse day at work

Thursday January 25, 2007 – Day 179

Before Simon got sick he was starting to be too distracted by the world to focus on eating properly and just didn’t want to be tied down with a breast or a bottle. Then he was sick and really didn’t eat and just lived off his baby fat. Just today he began to eat with gusto again in his old Ludvigsen-Gaines “I’m starving, I may have a tapeworm�? way.

Friday January 26, 2007 – Day 180

Tony, the cue-card boy’s sister, Josefina Mendez, died in Cuba. She was highly regarded as a dancer in the Cuban National Ballet. Tony had to sneak in and out of Cuba to say goodbye. I understand it’s naïve of me, but living in America in the 2000’s it’s hard to imagine having to sneak in and out of my country.

Saturday January 27, 2007 – Day 181

Matthew made strained bananas for Simon as his first non-Mommy “solid�? food and we tried to feed it to him tonight. Matt had to stop me from eating the entire jar. It was delicious. Simon seemed a little confused as to what to do with the stuff. Mostly he wore it on his face and tried to grab the spoon with his hands. Aari was emotional about her baby growing up.

Sunday January 28, 2007 – Day 182

Simon 26 weeks I have been whining as always about myself and myself. My friend Betsy wrote me “Just remember one thing - the first year is exhausting and exhaustion can exacerbate depression. While real, it is temporary (and menopause doesn't help either)...try to remember that.�? If I hadn’t been like this my entire life, I think I would take more comfort from those words.

Monday January 29, 2007 – Day 183

Simon loves to look out the window but he often jolts forward in his excitement and hits his head on the window glass like a bird.

Tuesday January 30, 2007 – Day 184 Big news today.

1. I broke the deuce this morning - I now weigh 199.5
2. Simon got a clean bill of health

Simon now weighs 18 pounds 8.5 ounces. He is 26 " long. He is now in the 75 percentile of height and weight. The doctor said the next six months are going to fly by. This was the first time Simon was squirming at the doctors. The doctor asked us what new things Simon is doing. We told her that he was sitting up, reaching and grasping for objects, mostly putting them in his mouth, recognizing people and stuffed animals, and that he is finally ticklish. We talked about Simon eating food besides milk from Aari and how Simon will be learning something new every week. Aari started to cry.

Wednesday January 31, 2007 – Day 185

Simon is 6 months today! Here's an interesting thing that happened to me this morning: old Mrs. menstrual cycle came back after a four month vacation and boy does that hurt! This goes under the heading careful what you wish for. 50 percent of deaths in children under five years occur in the first six months of life. The incidence of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death) decreases tremendously after six months of age. We feel that reaching the ripe old age of six months is a pretty big deal. From now on our big boy Simon will eat real food every day, and is eligible to use all the products that say “not for infants under six months of age.�? No more Mr. Newborn! But still a long way from walking and talking and picking out his own outfits (well, I can’t really do that last part either).

Thursday February 1, 2007 – Day 186

The show has existed and I have been with it for twenty-five years today. Simon can sit up and giggle.

Friday February 2, 2007 – Day 187

When I watch Simon in the bouncy seat I begin to wonder if the donor was a member of River Dance.

Saturday February 3, 2007 – Day 188

Simon 27 weeks

Holly and her youngest child Elly and my nephew Andrew and his girlfriend all came over for brunch in the morning. Our fix-it guy from Sag Harbor was in the apartment fixing things all day. The apartment was bustling. In the late afternoon during an effort to fix a leaky faucet in our bathroom, an ancient value burst and hot water gushed out in a river through the bedroom and into the foyer. Simon was squealing like a pig, a noise we had never heard before, completely tuned into our panic. Aari and I had towels everywhere and were ringing them out in pans and couldn’t make a dent – it was crazy. Then we put the towels in our tiny washer/dryer machine and the machine vibrated off its counter and crashed onto the floor killing itself.

Tuesday February 6, 2007 – Day 191

Aari and Simon called me at the office at night and I had them on speaker. On our end we kept hearing phone tones from Simon biting the phone. My friend Nancy said Simon sounded like he needed to place another call.

Wednesday February 7, 2007 – Day 192

Woke up this morning to the sounds of Simon screaming over the monitor on the top of his lungs “Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba�?

Thursday February 8, 2007 – Day 193

I’ve been chasing a 3-day migraine and ran out of the wonder-drug Zomig today. Molly our babysitter/actress and my son Simon brought some up to the office. It was great to see him in the middle of the day instead of just my twenty minutes in the morning.

Friday February 9, 2007 – Day 194

I told Simon a story. It goes like this. During World War II, little people such as himself were employed by our government to sneak behind enemy lines and kill Germans. We shipped 1000 little people out in cargo planes and ten were parachuted down (for weight) at a time. We tried to give them guns but they were too heavy so we gave them pea shooters of poison that they spit at the enemy. Pacifiers were strapped on so they wouldn’t fall out and lead to crying giving away positions. Not that government workers cried of course. At the end of the war Roosevelt issued medals to the little people but again they weighed too much so Roosevelt just kept a them in a drawer. I felt like I was being so clever with my silly story and Aari was going in and out of the room sort of listening to this and then she said, “Were they called the infant-try?�?

Saturday February 10, 2007 – Day 195

Aari and I went on our 2nd date night. You know how people say they turn into their parents? Well in fifty years I haven’t really had that feeling, being gay and in television and without children. But all of a sudden I am only going out with my spouse on a Saturday night, leaving my baby home with the sitter, and it seems a bit familiar. We went to Michael Lomonaco’s new restaurant "Porter House New York" in the Time Warner Center and then to see Tom Stoppard's "The Coast of Utopia Part Two: Shipwreck." Of course if you know us at all you know that a nine hour trilogy based on the philosophical debates in pre-revolutionary Russia is not my first choice of entertainment while a steakhouse is not Aari's first choice of restaurant. Clearly steak for me, Stoppard for Aari. Neither of us was disappointed.

Sunday February 11, 2007 – Day 196 Simon 28 weeks

Aari, Mom and Meg went to our temple’s annual Shabbat Shirah Concert and I stayed home with Simon. He had had a poop explosion earlier in the day so I pretty much felt nothing terrible could happen to me, and I was right. I couldn’t get him to fall asleep in his crib when he was supposed to but by the time Aari & Mom came home we were both asleep on our bed.